Crescendo
by Likaella
Summary: Timothy McGee has resigned himself to bare the emotional beating his team inflict upon him every day. But he still prays happiness, and it brings him to the club Crescendo. Tim is a smart man, smart enough to recognize love and never let it go. But with that love comes changes. The biggest one is his relationship with the man Tim loves and hates like the son he doesn't want to be.
1. Chapter 1

**CRESCENDO**

**N/A : Chronology changes : Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the timeline of season four, a week before "Cover Story" episode, so in 2007.**

**N/A #: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.**

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**Chapter one**

Tim sat down tiredly. His back slouched against the somewhat stiff chair of his desk; he rubbed his hands against his eyes. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. He knew his exhaustion was as emotional as physical, but God, a nap was not going to help him right now.

Even in his dreams, his dear friend's anguish wouldn't let go of the death grip it had on his heart.

Those last months at NCIS had been hell.

With Sarah attacked, framed, nearly raped and accused of murder, Tim had though he was going to lose it. He couldn't trust anyone to protect his little sister above everything else, even in the worst case. He couldn't trust anyone but himself. Except that the team wouldn't let him do that. As soon as his personal involvement in that case had been discovered, he was pushed into the back seat, feeling like the inadequate probie Tony always accused him to be.

Of course Tim had felt guilty at the beginning; after all he had never meant to lie to his boss nor had he meant to hide evidence from a crime scene, but behind Sarah's usual stubbornness and impertinence, he had read the true fear and sincere mistrust she had about NCIS, or more, about his team. Tim couldn't really fault her for that; after all, most of what she knew came from him and more than once he had been honest about the way they kept treating him at work.

But it was that fear that forced Tim to keep his mouth shut. Until, of course, things had gone to hell and Gibbs had answered his sister's phone.

When Gibbs lectured him in the elevator that he fondly called his office, Tim had taken it, knowing that he deserved most of it but when the man rounded on him about not coming to him, it took all his will power not to snap back. It took all of his acting skills to not show his disbelief and dare he say his outrage at Gibbs' nerve. He had wanted to scream. Or laugh, he didn't know. When did Tim ever come to Gibbs for anything? When did he ever ask for help from his boss? When? And how, when Tim was sure that his try would have been dismissed or worse, shot down?

It really wasn't as if Tim had any right to ask for anything from Leroy Jethro Gibbs. His relationship with the boss was very anticlimactic at best, and Tim had the feeling Gibbs wanted to keep it that way. He knew there were plenty of reasons for that. In fact, during one night of restlessness he had listed them.

When he was hired, at the very beginning of his probie days, Gibbs had been supportive of him, had even encouraged him, praised his good works and rationalized his worst insecurities. He had been a true mentor and Tim, after years and years of rejection from his father, had thrived under the support.

It was good, great even, and everything he wanted until Antony DiNozzo had expressed his displeasure and own insecurities about the relationship between Tim and the boss. Used to being seen and treated like Gibbs' son, Tony hadn't been able to hide his anger, resentment and fear at the idea of being eclipsed by Tim in Gibbs' mind. His jokes, as he called them, began to be harsher, his verbal picks and name-calling sounded more hurtful, and his lack of partnership towards the junior agent was obvious.

When Gibbs called him on it, Tony used every bit of the bond they had forged over the years to get Gibbs to treat Tim with more reserve.. And Gibbs agreed because at times, Tim was still just a probie while Tony had been his senior agent for years.

Tim personally thought that it hadn't been that hard for Gibbs to do so and it was the other's reasons behind the lack of bond between the two men.

First, Gibbs didn't understand Tim's work with the computers. He saw him typing his way through vital answers for a dreadful case, and since most of the time, Tim never failed to delivere what was asked of him, over the years Gibbs had somewhat started to underestimated Tim's work. His frustration when Tim couldn't hack into some data fast enough for his tastes had shown itself through some vicious tongue-lashing that had left Tim's heart throbbing from hurt.

He and Gibbs were just so different. The older man would never make the actual effort to learn something from the current technologies and why would he, really, when he had Tim to do it for him? But that didn't stop him from verbally putting Tim down when the younger man couldn't work something out of 'those damn machines'.

Tim had endured it though, and he had resigned himself to the idea that he and his boss would never share much in common, and that Gibbs wouldn't have it any other way.

The fact that he had once dated Abby, whom Gibbs considered like a daughter, could also explain the aloof way his boss was handling him.

It had taken Tim four years to accept the fact that dating Abigail Sciuto had been a serious mistake. The consequences of it had periodically hit him through the years. She had made him hope, pushed him away, played with his feelings only to ridicule them later. She had moved on so fast, but really, what had he expected when she had dated him with the intent of dumping him some time later? She had never looked for something serious or sincere or even romantic. She had wanted passion, domination coming from her side _always_, and fun. She had wanted release. But she never said those things first, she had never come clean to him the first time they had get together, she had played him like a violin, made him believe that what he wanted was what she wanted. And when everything crashed and burned. Tim had been left alone, appalled and wide open, hurt in ways he had never known before.

He had fallen in love with her and since then, there wasn't one day he didn't regret it. Much like Tony, she knew how to humiliate him, how to make him feel inadequate and weak. And through the years she had pushed every little button she knew so well, that Tim's love for her had started to fade, slower than his trust, but he always had trust issues.

Gibbs had watched all of this from afar, but only to make sure Tim didn't actually hurt his favorite. He never once called the woman on her behavior, just like he never called Tony on his bullying.

The day Kate died had been a real eyes opener for Tim. He had stood there in front of the two men as DiNozzo explained how Ari had intended to kill him instead but had missed and then picked Kate instead. He had stood there and watched as their facial expressions (Gibbs' concealed better than Tony's) twisted into anger, grief and _resentment._

They had resented him for living instead of Kate. Maybe just for a minute, but they had. And that had truly broken something inside of him.

When Ziva came into the team, he had done everything to make her feel welcome. He knew how hard it was going to be for her; being the probie of this particular team. He had been nice, dependable and helpful, but it turned out that he didn't have to worry. She had been treated by Gibbs and Dinozzo much better than he ever had been, even with their initial mistrust. Out in the field, she had been trusted to watch their backs, almost immediately while Tim was stuck behind his computer. Again.

Yet, Tim had kept his hurt and his anger to himself and he tried not resent Ziva for it. Not even when she laughed at some of Tony's most cruel jokes. Not even when she was convinced he actually shot that cop. Not even when she became more a part of the team and Gibbs's family than he ever had been and ever will be.

After his sister's case, though, Tim's walls were starting crumbled. He was a very private man. If he was asked to describe himself that would be his first word, not smart, not kind, but private. He had always needed to keep his personal life close to his chest and away from work. It had never been truer when he started working at NCIS. His sister being the sole suspect on a murder case had truly screwed up that equilibrium.

But the very worst of it was the discovery of his book "Deep Six" written under his penname Thom Gemcity. Do not get him wrong, he was proud of his book, proud that after nearly two years of hard labor and sleepless night he had managed to get all of his fantasy, dreams and inspirations out and wrapped up in one heavy package.

And it had been a great success. His publisher had been over the moon with the positive critics he had received and of course with the impressive amount of money the book was giving him. For his part, Tim had been overwhelmed but happy. It was his work, his alone, born out of his frown crease and sore fingers that was so well liked by the public. It was everything to be proud of.

Until it was not. Until Tony, Abby and Ziva turned it into something to be ashamed of, something to be mocked at, and something that should never have been. Even from afar, Tim had felt Gibbs' disapproving eyes on him.

So yeah, those last months at NCIS had been hell. But Tim would never say a thing, even if he was wondering if the job of his dream was worth that much anymore.

Because when it comes to NCIS he already knew his place.

Eyes burning, the young man ignored the fact that it was way past bed time, and grabbed his keys. If he couldn't sleep, he could at least burn some of his anguish in a past midnight jog.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**N/A : Chronology changes : Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the timeline of season four, a week before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.**

**N/A #: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.**

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**N/A: Thank you for all the people that left me reviews! It's great and gives me the will to give you back the best I can. Now, I had a review that suggested to me that Tim was coming off too much as a victim. Well, I can see your point, but for everything that has been done to McGee on the show, in canon and for the way that even 10 years later, he's still not view as an equal and is still Abby's back-up guy when she screw up, for the way Dinozzo so casually dismissed the role McGee had when they all went to rescue Ziva, for the way Ziva handled him when she was trying to avenge her father's murder, for the way Gibbs said and did nothing all those years… well Tim is a victim. I think it's clear for everyone that the reason he hasn't quit his job is because he loves it and think he can learn so much more. **

**But the fact that Tim was a victim is not the main of this fic. Sometimes all it takes for a victim to stand up is someone right behind to catch him if he fell. What matters is that in Crescendo, Tim is not going to be a victim anymore. He's going to be a **_**survivor**_** and then a warrior. But those changes take time, so bear with me. **

**I had another review who warned me that if this was going to turn into a bashing story, the person will stop reading. To that, I can only say, that the word "bashing" in many fandom is extremely ambiguous. I find myself wary of some fics Gibbs/Dinozzo because every time McGee is described as a jealous, cunning or arrogant geek. I'm going to try to put my characters into perspective, but I cannot forget that in canon, Abby is the kind of person who favors a dog before a friend. Or that Tony glued Tim's fingers to his keyboard. Like I said, perspective. **

**So no, This ain't gonna be a Bashing fic but some characters, Gibbs included, are gonna need a long introspection about their action concerning our Tim.**

**I will post one chapter per week and if there is a delay, I will tell you.**

**Last thing:**** you can find this story with ****ARTS****, about the characters, Canon and OC like Nico, on AO3, (link in my profile).**

**Ok, enough with the heavy. Enjoy.**

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At the last moment, Tim changed his mind and went for his car keys instead. He drove and drove until he was out of Brightwood where he lived. He finally slowed down and realized he had driven himself to Shaw. He parked his car in a safe spot and decided to take a walk. Never mind the fact that it was past two in the morning. The streets were not empty and Tim decided to follow the few people he saw and found himself in front of a very beautiful club.

The façade was very modern and yet looked oddly warm and inviting. Two heavy wooden pillars stood on each side of an elegant, sophisticated without being too luxurious, entry. The walls were painted in a deep brown color and had fine bands of esoteric motifs decorating them. The motifs were clear blue and gave an interesting contrast to the dark black wood of the entry pillars.

Tim raised his eyes to the vibrant green neon sign of the club: Crescendo.

He watched as an impressive number of people for such a late hour, went inside the club, all of them wearing relaxed and happy faces. He felt a pinch inside his chest. What wouldn't he give to be as carefree as those people were right now? He sighed and shook his head. He was about to walk away when he heard a voice.

"Pal, you look like your best friend died. It's ruining the mood."

Tim turned around and whatever retort he had on his lips died immediately. A young woman was standing in front of him. Without a doubt the most beautiful woman he had ever met. She was purely exotic; she was obviously mixed, her hair was a mass of light brown curls with some dark blond highlights in it and her brown skin gave her a very mediterranean appearance. However, her dark skin enhanced her piercing blue eyes quite nicely, Tim thought as he met her gaze.

"Pal?" she repeated the warm amusement from earlier still present in her tone.

Tim's eyes snapped from her full lips to her dancing blue eyes. He felt his own lips move into a smile.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware I was…uh… ruining any mood. Erm… I wasn't aware there was a mood in the first place…"

Great, he was starting to ramble like he did every time he was in front of a woman that he thought was way out his league. And this girl definitely was. She wasn't even in Dinozzo's league so… he was cut out of his depressive thoughts by a warm chuckle.

"Pal, of course there is a mood! There is always a mood around Crescendo, what mood it is just depends on the day, I guess."

"Oh?" Tim asked reluctantly tearing his gaze off the woman and looking at the entrance of the club. "What is this place? It's the first time I heard of it."

"It's a jazz club, a soul music club and a blues club. It also happens to be a restaurant."

Tim's eyes immediately lit up and he turned back fully to face the girl who looked at him with a smile.

"Really? Awesome! I'm a big fan of everything touching jazz and blues myself! What kind of artist play here? Do you have live performances? Did someone play tonight?"

The girl, whose eyes had widened progressively as Tim fired his enthusiastic questions, let out a happy laugh and Tim couldn't help but admire her once again, forgetting to be embarrassed,.

"You, my friend, really are a fan, aren't you? Well I'm glad you found us! Now, here is what it is. When the club opens we set the tables for the restaurant and we play the grand classics of all jazz, soul and blues music, like Cab Calloway, Benny Carter, Coleman Hawkins and such and then, when midnight comes, we start the scene. During the month, we have a lot of great artists coming from the all over the world, performing their original songs and doing covers they loved. Tonight we had Corentina Jackson and next week we're having Taj Mahal. We also have local and regional performers, big or small, that come to give a little bit of their soul on scene."

Tim gaped at her, eyes bright and cheeks red with excitement.

"You had _Corentina Jackson_ tonight? _And you're having Taj Mahal next week?_"

The girl looked up to him, a big happy smile on her lips. "Yep."

"I think I love you."

The second the words escaped his mouth, Tim turned bright red and waited for the ground to swallow him or the girl to call him a creep, but all she did was to throw her head back and laugh.

"Pal, I've been told I'm very loveable but I think you've got crush on Crescendo instead."

Tim felt himself relax and laughed with her. He nodded and stuck out his hand to her.

"My name is Timothy McGee. It's… very great to meet you," he managed sincerely.

The girl's face softened and she shook his hand firmly. "Well, the pleasure is all mine Timothy. I'm Nicolleen Serror, but all my friends call me Nico."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Notes : Chronology changes : Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the timeline of season four, a week before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.**

******Crescendo** with** Arts** is available on Likiel's AO3 here: Link in my profile.  


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**N/A: Hey everyone. Thanks for those who left me review, this is why I update, and feedback is the best way to reward an author. To Benda: Just a few words: we don't watch the same show. To Guest: Thanks again for your review and I would love to respond in PM, you should get an account ^^.**

**More of Tim and Nico, with Tim finally free to be himself. Enjoy.**

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After their introductions, Nico finally took Tim inside the club and the young man was truly amazed by it. The inside was actually much bigger than what he had expected and in addition to a respectable number of crafted wooden tables with soft red candles for the restaurant area, the place had a bar and a large stage, too. There were also an inviting number of sofas and stuffed easy chairs where plush cushions were resting. Most of the seats were crimson velvet but the walls were painted in that warm brown, with some esoteric motifs that echoed the façade Tim admired earlier. The floor was made of oak and when Tim raised his head, he was surprised to see that the ceiling was painted in dark blue, accented by the golden glow of the club light.

The place was warm and full of laughter and the guy who was currently playing his saxophone really knew how to do it. Tim looked around and noticed that there was a large diversity of people, all colors and all origins it seemed, and all ages.

Nico spent the rest of the next hour introducing Crescendo, and herself, to him and Tim couldn't have being more surprised by the things he learned, starting by her age.

"What do you mean you're nineteen?" he asked with big eyes.

"Exactly what I said, Tim," Nico retorted as her lips twitched from preventing her chuckles to escape. "Oh, you should see your face, man! It's priceless!"

Tim reddened and immediately tried to conceal his face in a nonchalant mask, 'tried' being the operative word, since his attempt just made Nico chuckle harder. He sighed and felt himself smile, too.

"Sorry, you just surprised me, I mean… you look young, but I wouldn't have said nineteen… more like… well, I don't really know, it's just… the way you talk… erm…"

"Pal, I have no idea what you're saying." Nico laughed frankly now and Tim couldn't help but laugh with her, once again forgetting his uneasiness. She was so warm and down to earth that he couldn't help but be relaxed around her.

"Sorry," he said again, this time grinning and she just shook her head and smiled back.

Getting more comfortable against the large couch they were both sitting on, she asked with an amused tone to her voice, "Well, how old are you, anyway?"

"Hum… well, I'll be twenty-six in May," Tim replied somewhat hesitantly.

Nico blinked.

"Really?"

"Yeah… it's not… I mean, it doesn't bother you or anything, right?"

Nico looked at him incredulously before chuckling a bit.

"Pal, why would it? I actually thought you were older!"

It was Tim's turn to blink. "Really?" he questioned not sure how to feel about that. "Why?"

"Because you look so serious and tired… I guess it weighs on you more than you know."

The young man found himself looking straight into her eyes and was surprised and touched to see concern in them. He felt a warm feeling spread out inside his chest and smiled softly at her.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to learn how to relax and rest then." He laughed happily when Nico nodded vigorously at him.

"Crescendo and I will teach you, don't worry."

Tim smiled wider.

"Do you always talk about your club like it's a person?"

"Yep and it's not an "it", pal, _she_ is a lady on fire, like her owner," she added with a wink

"You… you _own_ Crescendo?"

"Sure do."

And she proceeded to explain to him how she graduated from Julliard at seventeen, disappointing many of her math teachers because she used her well above average IQ to study music instead of becoming a scientist . Once her degrees were obtained, she took a year to travel all around the world studying music and meeting artists, then on her eighteenth birthday, she opened her own Jazz Club with the help of her uncle.

Tim listened, fascinated by the strong willed young woman and her atypical path. He quickly realized that she was more than a little clever when they started talking about computers and the most modern programs, data and modems out there. She was also as much of a geek as he was and he couldn't help but be thrilled about it.

They shifted to politics, history and culture and he found out that she shared many points of view as he did; not all of them, of course, but enough to create a good debate. She told him a little bit about her family and Tim was sad to discover that she didn't have either of her parents anymore. Her mother had died when she was fourteen and she never knew her father. Nico didn't stay long on the subject and Tim could easily see that it was painful. She spoke a great deal of her uncle instead and it was obvious that she loved him a lot.

"Your uncle works at the DIA? Well, maybe I've heard of him, what does he do there?" Tim asked eagerly.

"He's the leader of one of the intelligence strategy departments. They are studying diverse ways, manipulations, decisions and strategic attacks or war-ways, preventive or offensive, of the other countries of the world, specially our enemies. Then with those results and answers they create real-life simulations for the country's government and national defense."

Tim froze and his eyes went wide. Of course he had heard of the most impressive works of DIA over the years and some names had come out more than the others but to have that particular department described by Nico with such accuracy must have means that her uncle must be…

"Is your uncle's name Walt Matthew Serror?"

"Yep, Uncle Mattie, that's the one!"

After Tim came out of his shock and Nico of her hilarity, they continued to talk and as minutes becomes hours, Tim found himself telling her everything about his family, his sneaky but loving sister, his bitter-sweet relationship with his mother and his non-existent one with his father.

Then he spoke about his job at NCIS, not surprised that she already knew what the agency was. He confided in her like he had never done to anyone in a very long time, not even Abby. He told her how much he loved his job and what he was doing to make a difference, he told her about the happy moments and the not-so-happy ones, he told her about his difficult beginning and how it was still affecting him today. He told her about Kate and Ari. He told her about Abby and how she had broken his heart. He told her about Tony and how he was breaking down his self-esteem every day. He told her about Ziva and how hurt he was that she chose to laugh at his expense when he had been nothing but welcoming towards her. He told her about Director Jenny Sheppard and how she obviously felt little respect or interest in him.

And he told her about Gibbs.

As he talked and talked during what seemed like hours, he watched her face drawing in concern, confusion and then quiet anger. Her eyes, so blue and piercing, seemed to take on a darker quality and her lips were pressed tight. She listened to him without interrupting, sometimes asking questions in a neutral tone but seemed to understand that he needed to pour out all the stress he was feeling. When Tim started to describe to her the whole mess that was his sister's case, the discovery of his book by his coworkers and their reactions to it, she actually looked irate and relegated his team to colorful words before biting her lips and looking sheepish but Tim was so touched to have someone defending with such a vehemence that he couldn't reproach her for anything.

After she took the reference of his book with an enthusiastic promise to read it, she stood up and told him to wait a few minutes. Tim propped himself comfortably on his couch and watch as Nico hopped up on the stage and warmly thanked everyone for coming then hugged the musicians and the artists. With a startled yawn, Tim realized it was already six in the morning. The club was closing and a dreadful feeling settled in Tim's stomach when he realized that he had only two hours before going back to NCIS.

He really didn't want to leave Nico.

As people left, still chatting happily, and the doors of the club were finally closed and locked, Nico turned towards him and looked at him appraisingly.

"You are gonna crash here, aren't you?"

Tim barked out a laugh.

"Yeah, I mean, if that's ok with you. I really don't want to leave. Besides, I'm due at work at eight."

Nico grimaced at that and then let out that warm chuckle Tim was quickly coming to love.

"Dude, you're welcome here anytime, Crescendo loves you, but are you sure you're good to work today? You haven't sleep at all and you're a field agent… can't you just take the day off?"

Tim blinked at the concern he could hear in her voice at the idea of him being on the field after a sleepless night. He tried to control his expression but he was sure that he didn't do a good job when an endearing blush found its way through her cheeks.

"Or maybe you're used to this; you don't have to stay if you…" The young woman started to say unsure of her offer.

"Actually," Tim cut off with a tender smile, "I think a day off is exactly what I need. After everything that's happened lately, I… well, I just want some rest." He took a deep breath and smiled softly at her as she walked toward him and stopped, standing in front of him. He raised his head to look square in her eyes. "Besides, this is the best night I've had in a very long time."

Nico broke into a wide smile and nodded. She took his hand and prompted him to stand up. Together they walk to the door behind the stage and took the hidden elevator that lead to the young woman's apartment upstairs.

Her place was large, larger than Tim's, but was filled with more furniture.. She actually had a lounge and two bedrooms, an American kitchen and a nice bathroom. Tim looked with appreciation at the design of the interior. Her industrial loft had organic traits, it was an open plan and the high ceiling was made to broadcast the favored light of the day. The entire structure of her loft was made of exposed brick, polished concrete and rustic wood that gave it a natural elegancy and a welcoming feeling. Her sofa was paired off with an ottoman chair that was calling Tim in. Against the wall of her relaxing lounge stood an impressive library and as he looked around, Tim immediately feel in love with the place.

He said so and she blushed then laughed. As she showed him to the guest room, he just had time to use her laptop, the same model he had, to send an e-mail to work that said that he was sick, and carefully tried not to think of the last time he did that. After wishing Nico good-night, he stripped to his t-shirt and boxers and immediately felt asleep, more at peace than he had been in a long time.

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**Reviews are love.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Notes : Chronology changes : Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the timeline of season four, a week before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.**

**N/A: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.**

**Crescendo with Arts is available on Likiel's AO3: Link on my profile.**

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**N/A: Hey everyone. Thank you to the reviewers, it's always warming to see that some left me feedback, I'm glad most of you follow or favorite my fic, but don't hesitate to tell me what you think.**

**So, like I said at the beginning of this story (or maybe I forgot to mention it), I'm following the chronological line of season four until… well, you'll see.**

**Since "Twisted Sister" (Set of our last chapter) aired in the end of November 2006, time has passed. This chapter begins a week after "Grace Period", at the beginning of April 2007, Five months later. The team is back, and the trouble can begin.**

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As the weeks passed and turned into months, Tim found himself getting better and better physically and mentally. He was now able to fall asleep and rest and all his thoughts weren't about the team and their attitude towards him. He did not feel the need to stuff himself with junk food because he was too depressed or exhausted to cook.

It was now that he had started to have a life outside of NCIS that Tim realized how much he had sequestered himself in his job and how much time he used to worry, no _angst, _about his coworkers. Even his book was all about NCIS and _them_ and the more Tim spent time with Nico and at Crescendo, the more he started not only discovering her and her world, but also himself.

Since the night they met, Tim had spent almost every night at the club with Nico and he had loved every second of it. Taj Mahal's performance on stage had been a glorious night and so much fun that the whole evening had left him dazzling with happiness. He had learned his way through Crescendo, her employees and her schedule. The club had become his favorite place to be; he felt at home there even more than in his own apartment.

He also felt at home at Nico's place.

More often than not, he would end up in the guest room, so much in fact, that some of his things were permanently there. He and Nico had become close fast, very fast, so fast that Tim had trouble imagining his life without her in it anymore. She was giving friendship like he had never experimented before, never. She was his confident and his partner in mischief, she was always cheering him up but didn't have trouble calling him on his crap. She was supportive, assertive and always there. Tim knew he had never been so close to someone before, had never share that much of himself with anyone and while a part of him was terrified of it, the other larger part, was absolutely thrilled.

If Nico was becoming a part of himself in an alarmingly fast rate, Tim could say without a doubt that he was also becoming a part of her. She confided in him without holding back and she trusted him completely. Tim was giving in support and honesty as good as he had gotten and he could see that Nico adored him. She had no trouble showing it, staying subtle but effective and Tim had never felt so loved and supported in any of his others friendships.

If they had could still actually be called friendships.

But neither of them was ready to take things to another level, maybe because what they had now was so dear and cherished by them.

Because Tim's life had flourished outside of his work, changes about him became apparent in it as well. Subtle changes, but changes nonetheless and most of them were not liked by all.

It was the week after Paula Cassidy and her team died that those changes were, for the first time, brought to the subject.

Tim sat at his desk working on his report about some cold case. Since the team was still taking it easy by the Director's orders, the young man had his earplugs in and soft Jazz was playing in his IPod. He had taken off his jacket and undid three buttons of his shirt. A little smile was playing on his lips as he listened to the deep voice of the singer, his mind still focused on his report despite of it.

For everyone who was used to Timothy McGee around the years he had started working at NCIS, the picture was just wrong. Gone was the stressed, nervous and somewhat sullen man. In his place was someone relaxed and… happy.

It was that realization that hit Tony DiNozzo as he watched him and a frown started to form on his face. Only a week had passed since Paula and her team had died when it was their team that was supposed to do the shift. The loss had hit everyone hard, Tony the hardest of all, as it forced him deeper in a lying, dead-end relationship with Jeanne. But as he watched the probie, he noticed that McGee seemed fine. Actually he looked on the top of his game and Tony gritted his teeth when he noticed that Tim's shirt was Armani. He quickly glanced at Ziva and found her also looking at McGee with a thoughtful look on her face. A surge of irritation and anger went through him and he decided to act on it.

"Nice shirt you've got there, McSmiling, did you pay for this with that horrid book of yours? If that's the case, you might as well hand that shirt over since it's over _our backs_ you're earning that money."

At the corner of his eyes, Tony saw Ziva frown at the mention of the book and felt a thrill of victory. However, it quickly disappeared when the seconds passed and McGee failed to react at all. The probie didn't even raise his head but a brief halt of his fingers above his keyboard was proof that he had heard Tony's words. He didn't answer, but to Tony's rising anger, he actually reached to turn up the volume of his IPod before resuming his tapping.

Tony was standing in a flash and Ziva had her eyebrows raised high. The act on itself was so unlike the green agent they knew that it left them unnerved. The clear dismissal was perceived as disdain to Tony and he was having none of it. If McGee thought he could just ignore him and not face their justified anger after the way he described them in his stupid book, he had another thing coming.

The senior agent strode over to McGee's desk and stood in front of it, glaring. The young agent still refused to acknowledge him for several minutes until Tony couldn't take it anymore and went to grab the IPod on McGee's desk. However, before he could reach it, McGee retrieved it and finally took off his earphones and met Tony's glare with a venomous stare that left Tony and Ziva astonished.

But still, he didn't say anything, and continued to work, however the hard set of his jaw and the angry glint in his eyes was showing that his good mood had completely evaporated.

Yet, Tony couldn't let it rest.

"What the hell is the matter with you, McMute?"

Ziva stood up and eyed them with some wariness as she made her way towards McGee's desk.

McGee had stopped tapping but he hadn't raised his head. His green eyes were fixed on the screen and when he finally spoke his tone was colder than any of them ever heard from him.

"Maybe I'm tired of baiting on whatever crap you might spout off, Dinozzo. Maybe I don't think it's worth the effort anymore, ever think of that?"

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**Cliffhanger! Oh yeah, things are starting to heat up.**

**Reviews are the sun and I need a tan. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Notes: Chronology changes: Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the time line of season four, before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.**

**N/A: Happy New Year everyone! So, I'm sorry for going AWOL on y'all for two weeks, but due to particular circumstances, some downtime was necessary. That's life. But now, we are back on track and I will post chapter 6 Wednesday, then, at the normal pace again. Enjoy ^^**

**N/A #: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.**

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Silence dropped in the bullpen as Tony and Ziva were slowly absorbing what their teammate just said. Finally, Tony's face went into a great shade of red as his expression twisted into fury. Ziva was, for once, unsure of what to do. The picks, taunts and remarks Tony always aimed at McGee were usually fun and harmless for her. She had always figured that it was how the two of them expressed their friendship but now that she thought about it, it's actually been months since McGee had responded to Tony's taunts.

"So McArrogant is actually too good for us now that he's a bigshot author, huh? Or maybe you realized that not even all that cash could help you get laid once in while?" Tony spat viscously after recovering from his shock.

"Tony! Stop it, you're not helping! McGee, what has gotten into you? It's not like you to be hurtful that way!" Ziva exclaimed after stepping between Tony and McGee's desks.

Tony opened his mouth to snap back at Ziva, but McGee finally had enough and stood up as well. He glared at Ziva and spoke in an incredulous voice. "What's gotten into _me_? You're asking me what has gotten into me when the only thing I did was to finally put that idiot…" he made a dismissive gesture of his head towards Tony, "in his place! Not used to that, are you? Because I decided not to take his usual crap I'm being hurtful? _Well, excuse the hell out of me!_ "

Ziva and Tony stood there speechless as their usually shy and somewhat meek teammate slammed into them with rage.

"Here I was minding my own business and actually working, something you should try sometimes, DiNozzo! But of course you just had to come harass me.! You just had to make your usual criticisms about all the things you deemed wrong about me or all the things I shouldn't have, huh? Well, guess what? _I don't give a damn about what you think!_ And if you had a life outside of these walls, you probably wouldn't feel so insecure about yourself and constantly putting me down to feel better!"

"What is going on here?"

The three of them turned around to see Gibbs and Director Shepard standing there and judging by the look on their faces, they had heard enough.

Gibbs watched as McGee's face closed off and the way he tensed at Jenny's question. Something odd passed through his eyes but in a second it was gone. Instead of responding to her, McGee sat back and quickly clicked on his mouse, printing his report.

The Director's mouth tightened a little but before she could say anything Gibbs spoke.

"You finished all your reports?" he asked his young agent.

"Yes, Boss."

If Gibbs found McGee a little short, he didn't dwell on it and turned to his other two agents, a glare on his face.

"What about you, DiNozzo? David?"

Ziva shook her head and immediately went back behind to her desk. DiNozzo looked embarrassed since he hadn't even finished half of the tasks appointed to him today. It must have shown on his face because Gibbs' glare intensified and Tony quickly scrambled to his desk, but not without throwing a dark look at Tim on his way.

As Gibbs turned around, he caught Jenny looking at Tim with a disapproving expression on her face and some of the protectiveness he usually tried hard not to feel around Tim, rose inside his chest. He walked straight to Tim's desk, blocking Jen's view and sent her a deadly look. The Director just glared back, then huffed and finally left the bullpen.

A deep and uncomfortable silence fell. Gibbs sent another glare towards Ziva and Tony, clearly asking them to get busy with work then bent to speak quietly to Tim.

"Did you also finish the report on the Evan case?"

"Yes," Tim responded unsure of why Gibbs would ask him that.

The older man nodded. "Then you can go home and get some rest, McGee. The other cases are for the other teams. Can't have you work the entire agency's load alone. Come on, I'll walk you out."

Tim blinked twice but to Gibbs' surprise he didn't argue at all. In fact, the older man watched as his young agent bit back a smile and immediately started packing.

As they made their way through the bullpen, Gibbs could feel Tony's burning stare on the back of head and he turned around a third time glaring at his second in command.

"When I get back, you two better have some work done, you hear, DiNozzo?"

The lack of an answer made him raise his eyebrows and repeated his question in a voice that demanded an answer. "Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Boss," Tony snapped back.

"Yes, Gibbs," Ziva answered at the same time.

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**Reviews are my cherry and I'm a chocolate cake.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Notes: Chronology changes: Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the timeline of season four, before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.**

**N/A: And here is chapter 6, it's very intense and Tim got a potty mouth in this one, be warned.**

**N/A #: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.**

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Gibbs nodded and walked into the elevator with McGee. When they reached two levels below, Gibbs pushed the emergency button. His youngest agent didn't seem surprised but Gibbs felt him tense. They stayed silent for a moment, looking at each other while the team leader recalled all the changes he noticed about Timothy McGee in the last five months.

Contrary to what Tony and Ziva seemed to think, the older man wasn't ticked enough to not see that whatever McGee had going in his life was good for him. The young man was carrying himself with more confidence than before. He seemed so much more relaxed and…happy. It was a thought that pleased Gibbs and at the same time troubled him because he didn't want to dwell on why McGee had been so unhappy before.

His relationship with the young man was complicated. The minute he saw him at Norfolk he had known that Tim was something special, knew that beneath that nervous rookie stuttering and shy appearance, the boy was hiding fierceness, courage and talent like NCIS had rarely seen. He knew he had to have him on his team.

But he also knew how hard it would be to conquer Tim's fears and insecurities. The kid was so green, and it had been so long since Gibbs had trained a newbie, so long since he had actually wanted to. Still the challenge hadn't scared him. At least not until the bond he had started to form with the young man had been a threat to his bond with Tony and therefore a threat to the harmony inside of his team.

After Tony had begged him to only keep a professional relationship with McGee, Gibbs had backed off and tried not to feel guilty as the months passed and the green agent was more often than not left to struggle alone with the difficulties of his new job and with the emotional blow that came with it. Months became years and when Tim realized what Gibbs was doing, he had stop expecting the same closeness they had when he first came to NCIS. But somehow Gibbs had the feeling that he had stopped expecting a lot more from him. Tim had distanced himself from him and the numerous things that made them different men were slowly becoming obstacles between them.

Gibbs had no idea how to fix it though; hell he hadn't even tried because even if he wasn't proud of his behavior towards the young man and the way he constantly closed his eyes at the way DiNozzo and Abby were hassling him, those things still helped to maintain the status quo at work.

But for the first time Tim's earlier outburst was making him question the price of it.

"If you are trying to intimidate me with the whole staring and silence thing, we might as well put the elevator back on track, sir."

The defensive and somewhat bitter tone McGee used registered in Gibbs's brain at the same moment he answered. "Don't call me sir, McGee."

Tim averted his gaze and nodded sharply, his whole body language still stiff. Gibbs sighed and softened his tone.

"Tim." The use of the young man's given name was enough to make him meet the team leader's gaze dead on. "I'm not trying to intimidate you, but I would like to know one thing."

Tim was still tense and he was looking at Gibbs with suspicion and wariness. Gibbs felt an unwelcomed pinch in his chest at the idea that his agent couldn't trust him with his personal problems. "Are you ok?" he asked in a soft tone.

Gibbs watched as his words forced Tim out of his defensive state and brought surprise on his face. The young man started to open his mouth only to snap it shut as several emotions passed through his eyes. He just nodded. But Gibbs wasn't going to settle for that.

"Are you sure? You've been different lately." Tim's glare returned in full force and Gibbs, not wanting the young man to put his walls back up, quickly backpedaled.

"Not bad different, Tim, in fact you've been more relaxed for months now, but you have also distanced yourself from your team."

Tim was now glaring at him something fierce and if Gibbs wasn't so focused on getting his point across without Tim shutting him out, he would have been impressed by the nerves the young man was showing. He was also torn between wanting to smack him on the back of his head for looking at him like that and congratulating him for standing up for himself.

"So, because I have grown tired of taking Tony's shit, I'm distancing myself from the team?" the young man quietly raged.

Gibbs couldn't help but frown. It was on the tip of his tongue to berate McGee for cursing in front of him and the anger and bitterness he could feel in his young agent was starting to get to him. Still, he took a deep breath and answered evenly.

"I'm not talking about that. When was the last time you went for a drink or even took your lunch with Tony, Ziva or me? When was the last time you spent time with Abby outside of work? When was the last time you actually spoke to Ducky and Jimmy outside of work?"

There was a silence but the team leader could see that Tim wasn't contemplative or even abashed. As Gibbs talked, anger was building up inside the young man and he finally lashed out.

"I wasn't aware that my social life with the team was any of your business! God, you are such a hypocrite!"

Gibbs immediately saw red and he took a step towards McGee, almost standing toe to toe with him, but before he could open his mouth, Tim rounded on him.

"Did it ever occur to you that if I didn't go out with you lot anymore, it was because _none of you _asked me too? Since I told DiNozzo off a few months ago after my sister's case, it's like I've become in turn invisible or the butt of all the jokes of the team! All because I wrote a book inspired by them! DiNozzo couldn't take the fact that I wasn't gonna let him take it out on me, and he, Ziva and Abby had made my life miserable since then! But that's ok, isn't it? It doesn't change from the usual and it's not like _you ever cared_ about that, is it?"

Tim was yelling right to Gibbs' face now and the hurt, rage and bitterness that came of his voice was unmistakable and painful to hear..

"Why on earth should I make the effort when I've done nothing wrong? My book is what it is, _mine_! I didn't plan on hurting anyone with it, and my characters are _just that_, characters! Yes, they are inspired by my surroundings, NCIS and the team, but what the hell did you all expected? _I spend all my fucking time here_!"

"McGee! Enough!" Gibbs yelled.

"No!" Tim roared and to his horror he felt his eyes fill with tears but he viciously held them back as he spat out his response.

"You asked! If you don't like the answers, well tough! You are so busy ignoring everything and anything when it comes to me that you don't realize that _the last person_ I would want to spend time with outside of work is Abby! You've got your head so far up your ass that you literally can't see that _my team,_ as you put it, is anything but that, and you are such a hypocrite that you actually got the nerve to ask me if I'm ok when I know that is _the least of your concerns_!"

It happened very fast. During Tim's lash out, neither man had noticed that the team leader had backed his young agent against the wall, his anger growing steady and more dangerous at each word he was hearing, and as Tim finished, Gibbs's right hand violently slapped the wall beside McGee's head, only a few inches from his face.

A deep silence fell and a single tear made its way down Tim's cheek.

At this sight, most of Gibbs' anger vanished and a crushing guilt settled inside his chest, making his throat ache. He raised the same throbbing hand and used it to gently wipe away the tear with his thumb, an action so out of character for him that it brought the young agent out of his paralyzing state.

In a flash, Tim had himself out of the elevator corner and quickly hit the emergency button. The doors immediately opened and the young man was out before Gibbs had the time to react.

The team leader stood there for a long time before he went back to the bullpen.

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**Reviews are the rain soothing my scorched earth.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Cover story - Aftermath**

**Notes : Chronology changes : Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the timeline of season four, before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.**

**N/A: And, we have reached the aftermath of "Cover Story"! Know that this episode had me choking with anger about the way the team treated Tim. The development of the impact of this episode for the story is gonna be very important. I always planned for "Cover story" to be the sparkles that will make Tim explode. And starting to truly move on and impacting NCIS (especially Gibbs) strongly. **

**So, first part here: This chapter is a Nico one, you will learn more about her and how much Tim is it for her ^^**

******N/A #: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.**

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Nico stood up from her couch and passed an anxious hand through the heavy curls of her hair. She paced around her loft for a couple of minutes before she sat back down. Ten minutes passed before she stood up again and resumed her pacing.

She had been in this state since Tim called.

She didn't know what happened, but his voice on the phone… god, he had sounded like a wreck, so broken that she had been stunned for a second. The only thing he told her was that something happened at work and he needed her. She didn't have to think twice about it; she told him to come to her place and handed Crescendo over to her two coordinators, Tami and James, for the night. Then she went upstairs and waited for Tim to arrive.

At least she had time to think about her own feelings. Nico had never been one to lie to herself even if the truth could potentially freak her out. She knew she was falling for Tim and this time she had actually taken the time to build a solid friendship and an unbreakable trust before she gave in to her feelings.

The first time she met him, he had just seemed so sad, standing lost and somewhat wistful in front of her club, that she just had to go and cheer the poor man up. She had really looked at him then, and damn but he was attractive. She had found him charming as hell with his big green eyes and his playful pout. She quickly realized that he was a little shy and funny and he obviously had impeccable taste in music.

Moth. It had become her nickname to him, almost like an endearment; not only because of his name Ti_moth_y but more because he had been drawn to Crescendo like a moth to a flame. And in return, Nico had been utterly drawn to him.

The last couple of months had been the best she had for a long time and she considered herself a relatively happy person. Tim had just… settled in her life like he had always been there. It had felt right, it had felt great and now, she just couldn't stand the thought of him out of her existence.

Things in life had not always been easy for her, but she always thought she was lucky enough. She had never known her father. Her mama has been a beautiful Jamaican woman, skin as dark as night and smile as blinding as light. She had been strong and fair but not known to use kid gloves. Nico was told that she just had a one night stand with the man who was her father and he was gone in the morning, like a dream. She had tried to look for him but he had just vanished. Eventually, she had given up and two months later found out that she was pregnant. That's when she decided to leave Jamaica where violence, drugs and corrupt police were flourishing, and go to America, Washington, DC, where her older brother, the only family she had left, was living.

Things had been good for them, even if at times her mother struggled with the bills, not wanting to accept financial help from her brother no matter how much he begged. But everything changed when Nico turned fourteen. That's when her high school principal told her she had been accepted to Julliard. And that's also when her mama was shot in the middle of the street during a show down between drug dealers.

It had been a very dark period for her and her uncle. Both of them coped the same way, they buried themselves in their work. Her uncle Mattie didn't want her to give up on the opportunity to realize her dream and even if he was anxious at the idea of letting his fourteen year old niece attended a university in New-York, far away from Washington, he still let her go. Of course, as a DIA agent, she knew he had contacts in the university who could keep an eye on her but he had always been protective so she let it pass.

It was hard being so young and surrounded by older students and some of the girls were downright bitches but Nico got by. She was passionate about Jazz, and the teachers were fascinated by her. She received a Bachelor's then a Master's of Music and graduated in four years.

She hoped her mama was proud.

Her uncle had many friends all around the world, so when Nico decided to take a year to study her area of music in other countries, he supported her. And when she came back, finally at the legal age of eighteen and with the dream of Crescendo inside her heart, he helped her. He loved her that much.

So, as far she was concerned, Nico was lucky, incredibly lucky. That's why Tim was like a blessing to her, she couldn't believe she had the luck to meet such a nice man, a man who had become, in a very short time, her best friend when she never really had one before. She had found it so easy to talk to him about herself, her past, and her hopes for the future. She told him things that nobody else knew , not even her uncle. She spoke about her unknown father and the murder of her mother. She spoke about her only relationship with an older boy who hadn't wanted what she wanted.

And in return Tim told her all about his life, his family and his work. Nico hadn't really been surprised when she learned that Tim was an NCIS agent. She knew there was _something_ about him, an edge that made him different from anyone else. Her uncle was the same. But she had been surprised and distressed by how hard it was for him to work with his partners. She had hated the things he told her about how they treated him and even if her mama had always told her not to judge people without knowing them first, Nico had wanted nothing more than to go to NCIS headquarters and do some ass-kicking.

How Tim must love his job to stay despite what was happening every day. She loved his dedication and how his eyes lifted when they talked about the latest data program on computers. She loved how he could kick her ass on the ACD PlayStation Game. She loved how he was making a difference, saved lives, and brought people peace in their grieving by discovering who took their loved-ones. She loved how strong he was, how fierce he could be and how his eyes sometimes darkened when he watched her in the soft red lights of Crescendo. She loved him.

And that's why her heart was beating painfully fast in her chest at the idea of what could have happened to him.

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**Reviews are the stars dressing up the night.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Notes : Chronology changes : Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.**

**In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.**

**The story starts in the timeline of season four, before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.**

**N/A: Second part of the "Cover Story Aftermath"! Tim and Nico, as simple as that. Emotions ahead, you've been warned.**

******N/A #: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.**

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The doorbell rang and Nico all but ran to the door and opened it, barely pausing to take sight of Tim before they simultaneously engulfed each other in a desperate hug.

Tim shuddered inside her embrace and she tightened her hold. He buried his face in the generous curls of her hair and she softly caressed the back of his neck. They stayed like for at least five minutes before Nico silently nudged him inside and locked her door. She turned around and watched her best friend loose his tie and carelessly throw it on a chair, along with his jacket. He took off his shoes and passed a tired hand over his face before collapsing on the couch.

Nico squatted down in front of him and sat on her coffee table. She scooted as close to him as possible and tenderly let the tips of her fingers traced the large dark circles under his eyes. Tim captured her hand in a firm grip and let out a shuddering breath. Nico let her other hand fall softly onto the top of his head.

"Moth, are you hurt? What's wrong?"

Despite his crestfallen mood, her nickname for him still managed to bring out a small smile. He raised his gaze to look her in the eyes and felt his own watering by the sheer anguish he could see in Nico's blue orbs. Her first concern was to know if he was hurt. Tim felt his throat tighten. After everything that happened today, knowing how much she cared for him was an unbelievable gift. Except for his sister and grandmother, she was probably the only one.

"Tim?" Nico murmured, her voice strained with worry.

"I'm not hurt, Nico." But his voice really wasn't matching his words and Nico's hand travelled from the top of his head to the back of his neck. She gave him a gentle but firm squeeze.

"What's wrong?" she asked again, this time with a strong voice.

Tim swallowed painfully and raised red rimmed eyes towards her.

"Two men died today and I'm mostly responsible for it."

Nico didn't react like he thought she would. Instead of putting some distance between them, she scooted even closer to him and put her forehead against his.

"Start with the beginning, Tim."

He did. He told her about Landon Grey and his unhealthy fascination for "Deep Six" and "Rock Hollow", he told her about the creepy fan mail he received, about his publisher Lyndi Crawshaw and her scams, about the deaths of Petty Officer Cove and Adrian Corbett, about Grey committing two murders to protect 'Agent McGregor', and finally about Grey trying to kill Abby.

Nico listened and her heart ached that Tim had gone through something like that. She knew his job wasn't roses and sunshine at all, she knew he was confronted with death and violence on a regular basis, but the guilt she could feel pouring from his voice was killing her. She took his face in her hand and felt her throat tightened at how red his eyes were. But strangely he wasn't crying. She knew that he was holding back fiercely, and without a doubt had been holding back for quite a while now.

She met his gaze steadily. "None of it was your fault," she said with unbreakable conviction.

Tim's expression twisted and he tried to pull away but she was ready for it. She knew exactly how he was going to react, knew that he would want to run away, that he wouldn't want any comfort because he probably hated himself right now but she would never, _ever_ let him and in a swift movement she was straddling his lap, his face still trapped between her hands, her eyes burning into his.

"Listen to me, Moth. You know I wouldn't lie to you, even if the truth would hurt."

"I know," Tim immediately acknowledged.

"Then listen, and try to _believe _me. Tim, you're a writer and like every writer in the world, you used your surroundings and your life experiences to inspire your storyline, and _every single artist_ _does that_, painters, musicians, writers… I do it, too, when I compose. This is not illegal, this is not cheating, this is not _wrong_! You did a damned fine job with "Deep Six" and I know you've been struggling with "Rock Hollow" but this is your passion, one of your jobs, something you love. You are not the first, nor the last, writer in this world and you did everything right. Now tell me, _how could you have known that something like that would have happened? _"

"I… the letters… I should have…"

"The _false_ letters, you mean? The ones that shady publisher wrote?"

"They could have been real, Nico, I should have…"

"What? What more could you have done? You told me you asked Lyndi to stay alert and tell you if other letters are sent. There are so many writers, who get crazy mail like that, and most of the time, nothing happens. You were aware of the letters, and I know you, Tim, you would have taken precautions if there had been more of them. You did not just ignore it, am I wrong?"

Tim swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut before reopening them almost immediately.

"You're not wrong," he murmured.

"Landon Grey is an unbalanced man. He's also a criminal. But still, he's just a man, Tim. Just like you."

Tim's eyes sharply focused on her and Nico continued mercilessly.

"He's just a man," she repeated. "Not a character. He's not something you could have controlled. He made his own decisions, did his own crimes, things that _you_ would have never even dreamt of. You couldn't have done anything to prevent what happened. You were used by him, Tim. He used your book to hurt people, so therefore he hurt you. You are his victim, too, not his accomplice."

And damned if it didn't make her eyes water to realize that Tim had also been this monster's victim. She wished she could find the man and beat the shit out of him. She wished she was there to prevent any of this from happening. Her thoughts must have shown on her face because Tim's hand came to frame her face and she could see that he was on the verge of crying.

"You did everything you could to stop him and you succeeded. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you, how guilty you must feel, but Moth, None. Of. It. Was. Your. Fault. You did your job. Every time, you did your job."

At her finals words, Tim let out a painful sound and panted harshly against her face.

"Then why? Why did my team make me feel like I was the murderer? Why did they treat me like that? Why?"

And with this he finally broke down, tears running hard and fast down his cheeks, angry sobs racking his frame as his arms encircled Nico, still sitting on his lap.

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